Overcoming Resistance

One of Milton Erickson’s truly most incredible recognitions was his ability to not only circumvent, but provide no course or path of resistant behavior. How was this done? By demonstrating through his own communication, an understanding, and acceptance of his clients model of the world as valid. In so doing, he provided his clients with a confidence and understanding that he himself could be trusted. In other words, he gained rapport with classified "resistant" subjects by joining these patients within the model of their world, no matter how ridiculous it might have been. Rapport is not a function of likeability, but of pacing, and is measured by trust and credibility.

To circumvent resistance follow these steps.
- Match the client’s words, while accepting and demonstrating an acknowledgement of the client’s model of her world.
- Using confusion techniques elicit a trance state.
- Identify something highly valued within the client’s model of the world, which could be, or is in jeopardy due to their inappropriate behavior.
- Provide some means by which the patient can discover on her own the destructiveness of her behavior via the patient’s own efforts or internal thought patterns.
- Generate within the patient a responsive environment to the decided upon intervention.
- Communicate the new perspective in a way that is sensible and compelling.
- Provide a natural setting in which the client can use his new learning.
- The basis behind the final setting is that even a small change, if beneficial, is a good change, and will eventually snowball into greater changes with time, if and when the client notices an improvement, or benefit in the change.

Below you will find one of my most favorite examples from our most dearly beloved Milton H. Ericksons work showing how far he would go, and how far you might have to go to show your clients that you will be true to them no matter what in order to overcome their resistances.

"Her history was briefly taken. Then she was asked the two important questions. 'How tall are you and how much do you weigh?' With a look of extreme emotional distress she answered, “I am 4 feet 10 inches. I weigh between 250 and 260 pounds. I am just a plain, fat slob. Nobody would ever look at me except with disgust.”

This offered a suitable opening. She was then told, “You haven’t really told the truth. I am going to say this simply so that you will know about yourself and understand that I know about you. Then you will believe, really believe, what I have to say to you. You are not a plain, fat disgusting slob. You are the fattest, homeliest, most disgusting horrible bucket of lard I have ever seen, and it is appalling to have to look at you. You have gone through high school. You know some of the facts of life. Yet here you are, 4 feet 10 inches tall, weighing between 250 and 260 pounds. You have got the homeliest face I have ever seen. Your nose was just smashed onto your face. Your teeth are crooked. Your lower jaw doesn’t fit your upper jaw. Your face is too damn spread out. Your forehead is too hideously low. Your hair is not even decently combed. And that dress you are wearing – polka dots, millions and billions of them. You have no taste, even in clothes. Your feet slop over the edges of your shoes. To put it simply – you are a hideous mess. But you do need help. I think you know that I won’t hesitate to tell you the truth. You need to know the truth about yourself before you can learn the things necessary to help yourself. But I don’t think you can take it. Why did you come to see me?”

She answered, “I thought maybe you could hypnotize me so I could loose some weight.” I answered her with, “Maybe you can learn to go into a hypnotic trance. You are bright enough to graduate from high school. Maybe you are bright enough to learn how to go into hypnosis. I would like to have you go into hypnosis. It’s an opportunity to say a few more uncomplimentary things to you. Things I don’t think you could possibly stand to hear when you are awake. But in the trance state you can listen to me. You can understand. You can do something. Not too darn much, because you are horribly handicapped. But I want you to do everything I tell you to do, because the way you have gobbled up food to make yourself look like an overstuffed garbage pail indicates that you need to learn something so you won’t be so offensive to the human eye. Now that you know that I can tell you the truth, just close your eyes and go deeply into a trance. Don’t fool around about it, just as you don’t fool around in making yourself a disgusting eyesore. Go into a completely deep, hypnotic trance."

A large majority of the people out there are very fascinated with the idea of hypnosis. Many people who are not familiar with the procedure are going to consider it to be about on par with black magic, mumbo-jumbo and even hoodoo-voodoo. This is definitely not what hypnosis is all about.

Hypnosis has been around for more than 3000 years, when doctors used it to lull a patient to sleep, before subjecting him to painful medical treatment. But nowadays, the yellow press as well as popular pulp fiction has found hypnotism to be a good subject which is extensively used by the evildoer to influence the hypnotized good guys, to do his bidding!

You would be surprised to know that many doctors are coming back to the use of hypnosis to operate upon patients, who cannot be put under anesthesia. So, if you can influence the thinking of a person to make him believe that he is not going to face any pain - as he has been hypnotized, why cannot you think of the possibility of using hypnosis to influence people to see your way, follow your lead and commands, or even buy your products from you?

Benefits of Conversational Hypnosis

This is where conversational hypnosis comes in. There is a little bit of autosuggestion in hypnosis. Apart from stage hypnosis, which we see so often, there are other cases of hypnosis like self-hypnosis and Ericksonian hypnosis. Conversational hypnosis is a part of Ericksonian hypnosis, in which you can influence anybody to see things your way, just by the hypnotic power of your voice. It is the process of covertly manipulating people.

And the best part of all is this that they do not even know that they are being manipulated and "hypnotized" by your voice. You happen to be quite in control of every single aspect of the conversation and situation, and can maneuver the situation or the conversation to your liking.

Applying Conversational Hypnosis

Before you go in for hypnotic conversation, you have to remember that the person is not going to be hypnotized, if his mind has some subconscious reservations against you. So you have to make yourself so pleasant that it relaxes the person in front of you and he is comfortable in communicating with you.

Trust, and liking in the 1st few minutes of acquaintance is one of the considerations which you have to manage to get "working" between your client and yourself. This idea has establishing a rapport between your client and yourself can only be done by making them "relax."

This can be done by using a language pattern, which is hypnotic, and with some commands embedded in the conversation. Apart from that a posthypnotic suggestion is going to be embedded in the subconscious of the listener, without his knowing a thing. This is going to make them undertake the actions you want him to do, which may include giving you the job, buying your product, and even taking you on as a business partner!

End Results Of Hypnosis

The most positive aspect of this sort of conversational hypnosis is that it does not make a person know that he has been influenced semi-consciously; he is going to think that the decision that he has made either to buy your product or to give you the contract, has been his own!

The best thing about conversational hypnosis is that anybody, introvert or extrovert can learn how to use this art to establish a rapport with your prospective client and manipulate him to your liking.

Can you imagine yourself hypnotizing someone without him even knowing that you are dealing with his mind? Sounds interesting right?

Well, learning to hypnotize can be very easy if you follow the three steps I will give you, but remember, you have to be focused when you are trying to hypnotize someone, if you are not fully "inside", it will not work.

Step number 1. Wait for the "target" to be in a trance. Anyone anytime can enter to a trance, even you are going into a trance from time to time, but you don't even know you are, and exactly the same any other person is, he gets into trance without knowing he is, and that's the point where you come in. People are entering trance in lot's of situations, like watching TV, day dreaming about something, thinking about something important in their life for a few seconds during the day, that is the moment that you can come in and hypnotize them, getting someone to be hypnotize can take seconds, you just need to catch this person in a second of trance, you can get him to trance yourself, but it's always better to find him at his own trance.

Step number 2. After you see that someone is getting into trance, you just need to take him to another world, your world, the world of control, where YOU control his mind, and that can be achieved easily, you just need to take this persons feelings to a known place, a place where he feels confidence, where he has no worries, where he knows everything, find out how to do it by visiting the link at the end of this article.

Step number 3. When you are in control, start playing to see if you are inside their mind, try to ask a few questions, that only a hypnotized person can understand like: "You are feeling good?, I feel something is wrong, I feel something else in the air, can you feel it to?", a hypnotized person will never feel that something bad is happening, he usually will tell you "No, I feel great, I feel that something good is going to happen", or something like that, he will feel better then you, because he is in a sort of "high", so when your "subject" feels better then he usually does, then you know he is in trance, and that's the time to act.

Step number 4. This is the time to get what you want from that person, it could be his wallet, it could be his feelings, it could be a secret, it can be anything, just be creative, start with something easy, and go to the next level every time you see he is responding. I suggest you to try to get a lie out of him first, then go on, you can start with something like "Do you love me?", if you see a good response, then go on and ask "Do you love your brother/mother/father", ask anything that can assure you that he is in a trance, let's say that you know that in the real life, you know that he don't talks to his brother, if he says he loves him, then he is in a trance, that's very easy, just try to catch him in a moment where you can see his hart talking, and not his mind, and then you can ask for anything, he will be happy to give it to you, or to tell you his best secret, he is in trance, he is hypnotized, this is the moment to get anything out of him, even his wallet, he will be happy to give it to you!

Covert hypnosis may be great for the practitioner especially when they can manipulate people to buy something from them, however, people on the receiving end are not that happy that they were in a way forced to do what they did. When it comes to covert hypnosis, detecting if a person you’re talking to is practicing covert hypnosis might be a very difficult task.

Fortunately, there are some tips and techniques that you could employ to prevent you from being hypnotized covertly. Since the nature of hypnosis aims at bypassing the areas of the brain where critical thinking occurs, it would be best to always practice thinking critically. This may not 100% stop them from hypnotizing you but it will make the process a lot harder for them.

Another way for not being easy prey from cover hypnosis is to get up and study the techniques yourself. Being familiar with it might help you squeeze your way out of such situations. Also, don’t be too absorbed in a conversation for it would be much easier for covert hypnosis practitioners to carry out what they came to do.

Never take in the information being fed to you. Learn to question every detail and try to know the origin and validity of the information. These are just some of the things that you could use to avoid being covertly hypnotized.

Representational Systems

Representational systems are the methods by which our bodies receive, and thereby interpret information from both outside and inside ourselves.

The different representational systems are visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory, and gustatory – all referred to as the five doors, or windows of perception.

The significance of these systems is that each of us learns to prefer one of the doorways, above the others from a very early age. As Virginia Satir put it; "man’s strongest instinct is not to survive, but to do what is familiar". By taking this in its context and observing humanity, it is no wonder that most people become frustrated with their challenges in life. People will also learn their second, third, forth, and fifth favorite representational system early in life, and have a tendency to lean on these systems in consecutive order.

As one matures through life and receives different learnings, they might choose to facilitate the use of their second or third preferential system as their primary reference for certain tasks. We all use all of our representational systems all the time. It’s simply a matter of paying attention to one specific piece of information at the given time of the communication.

Within the realm of therapy, it is generally a matter of opening a person up to, and having them notice more of the rest of the information they receive, in order to provide them with more choices in life.

It is the favoring of representational systems which governs our communication style, and directs our chosen activities in life. Sarcastically enough it is also an over reliance on a preferred representational system, which limits our understandings, and abilities to cope with, and understand certain situations we experience.

To the communicator, an ability to pick out a subjects preferred system, and then be able to communicate in a manner which understandably directs his subject in a specified direction is invaluable.

Manners of picking out a subject’s preferred representational system are quite simple.
Firstly the subject’s language via the predicates used, will be associated directly with her most highly valued representational system at that specific time. Notice that the specified moment in time was mentioned. Although a person’s most highly valued representational system will be most often used, it may also vary dependant upon the tasks being performed.
Secondly it can also be noticed as the portion of a 4-tuple which has a “non-null” value shown as:
R <V, ?, ?, ?,> for a visual representation.
R <?, K, ?, ?,> for a kinesthetic representation.
R <?, ?, At, ?,> for an Auditory tonal representation, and
R <?, ?, ?, O/G,> for an olfactory/gustatory representation.

If the subject’s eyes are open, eye accessing cues can be used ( the reader is referred to R.Dilts, NLP Volume I.; The Study of the Structure of Subjective Experience, for elaborations on eye accessing cues. ) to determine the preferred representational system. As an example, if the client was constantly moving her eyes up, and from side to side this would associate to visual accessing. Other cues might be a breathing pattern shallow and high in the chest ( here again the reader is referred to R.Dilts, NLP Volume I.; The Study of the Structure of Subjective Experience. ).

As for hypnotic induction techniques for a visually oriented subject, there are many, but initially one should begin with a form of guided visual imagery, and slowly begin to bridge in kinesthetic, auditory, and olfactory/gustatory language type predicates to expand the subjects experience. The introduction of different language predicates would allow for a synesthesia, or overlap of the senses expanding the subject’s experience, and for that matter her availability of choices. The introduction of predicates outside the subject’s main focus of conscious awareness will also orient her more and more towards unconscious processing as the induction progresses.

A person’s primary representational system will be represented primarily by the predicates used in their language, as well as other physiological cues such as their breathing patterns, facial coloration, and auditory inflections. These mentioned cues can be learned from most books dealing with the basics of NLP, and the reader is directed to books written by the likes of Richard Bandler, John Grinder, and Robert Dilts to name a few.

A person’s L operator, or lead system, will be largely governed by unconscious processes. For example:
If it has been learned that a client’s primary representational system is kinesthetic, via the predicates used in her language ( words used such as feelings, sense, get in touch with, etc….), and she was directed to imagine the sensation of swimming in the ocean, initially she might first visualize scenes of the ocean, followed by remembered sounds of waves crashing, and then have the sense of first dipping her toes into the water, while noticing the sweet scent of the salt air as she imagines herself moving into deeper levels of water bathing her naked body. This can be shown in the context of a 4-tuple as:
L <Vi, Ati, Ki, O/Gi,> ? K

Another example could be something like that of the olfactory sense. The sense of smell is in fact a very powerful governing obstacle because it is the only one of the sensory tracts which bypass the thalamic area, having direct cortical projections, and immediately begins the accessing of any associated past 4-tuple. For example, a particular scent of a woman, immediately sends my mind into all kinds of erotic pictures, followed by loops of certain sounds, which send me into uncontrollable kinesthetic experiences (can you guess what my primary representational system might be). I know, too much information, but as a 4-tuple this can be represented as;
Oe <Vi, Ati, Ki, Oe> ? K.

The great value in this knowledge to the hypnotically inclined communicator is that the lead system is governed unconsciously, or for that matter outside of the person’s conscious awareness. By being outside of the person’s awareness, she has no control as to what is causing a particular association, and thereby can’t change its effects.

By learning a subject’s out of conscious lead system, a hypnotist can have dramatic effects with his subjects, whether working within trance, or in the normal waking state. This can be easily done by covertly marking one’s communication to the other, in the persons unconscious lead system.